The Ultimate Guide: Executive Functioning Skills at Home
Raise your hand if you’re facing any of these issues at home:
Your child has a REALLY hard time getting started on a new activity
Homework time is a battle
Getting out the door in the morning ends in yelling, frustration, and sometimes tears
Your child can never seem to find a pencil, notebook, or their books - despite needing them everyday.
Your child gets frustrated and distracted while working
Okay…(hands down). Now put your hand back up if you envision THIS instead:
Your child gets started on homework or a new activity with a few simple directions
Your child knows where to look or what to say when they feel “stuck”
Mornings are calm, and everyone accomplishes what they need to with few reminders
Everything your child needs has a “home.”
I’m not sure who wouldn’t prefer the second scenario.
But how do we get there? How do we make sure we are raising our kids from a young age to feel organized, confident, and self-directed?
It’s called: EXECUTIVE FUNCTIONING!
Before we dive in... go download my free printable pack of kids checklists here! These will help you set your child up for success and support their executive function skills at home.
What exactly is Executive Functioning?
Executive function skills are the skills necessary for planning and implementing a task. These tasks can be as simple as choosing a toy or packing a bag as a young child to applying for a job as an adult.
Executive function skills fall into these categories:
Planning and prioritizing: Can your child break down a complex task? Can they prioritize and then figure out how to complete it?
Organizing: Can your child keep materials and thoughts in order and easy to access?
Managing time: Can your child think about how much time they have to do something? How to spend that time? How to finish or stop at a deadline? Can they sense urgency?
Working memory: Can your child hold on to information as they finish a task (example: math problems)? Can they remember multi-step directions or take notes? FYI: Your child probably isn’t ignoring you. They only heard the FIRST or the LAST thing you said.
Self-monitoring: Can your child reflect on their progress and adjust strategies as needed?
Inhibition and impulse control: Can your child determine appropriate behaviors for different settings? Can they stop or manage a behavior when they sense it is not appropriate for the time or place? Do they rush through things without checking?
Emotional control: Can your child accept negative feedback or do they overreact? Can they manage their feelings and emotions in a developmentally appropriate way?
Paying attention: How long can your child pay attention to a situation or activity?
Task initiation: Can your child get started on something new with ease? Or do they get overwhelmed? Before you say your child is being defiant, do they know what to do or how to start?
Flexibility: Can your child find new approaches to solve a problem? Or do they get frustrated or stuck in one method?
Persistence: Persistence: How well does your child cope with challenges? Do they keep going, or give up?
Chances are, your child is pretty solid in some of these areas, but might need some help in others. It is important to note that these skills often work together. A child’s time management is going to be a lot stronger if they are also organized with their materials. A child who is able to pay attention to directions and instruction is going to start tasks on their own.
Why are executive function skills so important?
We need executive function skills to carry out simple and complex tasks every day.
We need executive function skills to carry out simple and complex tasks every day. They allow us to live, work, and carry out life in a socially appropriate and confident manner. You might find that your bright and creative child is STRUGGLING in school. It might be that their executive function skills need strengthening.
When a child has difficulty in any one of these areas, they tend to have trouble with academics. Strong executive functioning improves school performance, listening skills, social skills, relationships, and self-esteem. Strong executive function skills lay a foundation for success in and out of the classroom.
Here’s the thing…
Middle and high schools teach some executive functioning skills (but not always). They are not as often taught in the early years. I’m ALWAYS a proponent of early intervention and setting our kids up for success early on. Why work backwards? Why treat executive functioning deficits later on when we can teach them now?
Research shows that there is a very strong connection between academic success and executive functioning skills. We need sharp executive functioning skills to plan and execute a project, gather materials, start and complete homework tasks, organize thoughts for writing, and maintain self-control in a classroom setting.
Improving your child’s executive function skills are not just going to make them a stronger student. It will make your child much more independent and self-directed.
How can we improve executive function skills?
It’s much better to work on executive function skills now in a proactive way.
You can support your child’s executive functioning skills today with my free printable packet of checklists for kids Download here and let me know how they work for you!
There are many ways to work on executive function skills in the early years. Here is a quick overview of some things you can begin thinking about at home:
Teach listening skills, such as looking at the speaker and asking questions to clarify.
Create an organized home work space. Make sure everything has a “home” and your child knows how to clean it up. Your child should know how to use the tools. Consider color coding materials for different subjects.
Ease transitions by giving warnings (“we’re going to clean up in 5 minutes.” ”One more minute until clean up!”). Avoid surprises, and try using a visual schedule or routine chart.
Give choices (“would you rather start with math or writing?”). Tip: only offer choices that you can actually commit to proactively supporting.
Teach language that helps your child cope with frustration. Self-advocacy is important.
“I need help right now.”
“I’m feeling frustrated.”
“Can I please have a break?”
Reduce clutter and distractions. Clear out broken or unused toys and recycle old supplies. Make their play space AND workspace inviting and easy to navigate.
Teach and validate emotions. “I see you are feeling frustrated. Let’s take a short break.”
Role play tricky scenarios before they happen. If you know writing homework ends in a meltdown, talk about how it might go BEFORE you sit down for writing. Think about solutions ahead of time.
Use specific praise and highlight the positive.
“You added lots of color to your picture!”
“I noticed how you felt frustrated with your math homework and asked for help.”
Ask questions to help resolve problems and invite cooperation.
Consider making a visual schedule or routine to refer to each day. Use a calendar and refer to the clock often to build the concept of time.
Play board games! Discuss planning moves and self-control before you start and throughout. Keep it playful, of course.
Model thinking through problems out loud, or planning a task.
Make to do lists or checklists and allow your kids to check off each item when completed. Visit my post all about checklists here and download my free printable pack of kids checklists here!
Let your kids pack their bags and zip them and open and close snacks and the lunchbox on their own.
Allow time for boredom, arts & crafts, and sports. These each support various executive functioning skills.
Alternate high-energy activities with low-energy activities (example: sports or exercise BEFORE writing time).
Break the cycle of negativity. Students with weak executive function skills often struggle with frustration and self-image. Try to break this cycle by rewiring negative patterns. This can be tough - notice the positive as often as you can. Here is a list of some of my favorite books on mindset.
Storytime. I used to have a student that really disliked writing. This was early kindergarten, and she wasn’t having it. Tantrums, meltdowns, you name it. When the other kids used pencil and paper, I allowed her to use markers, crayons, and draw whatever she wanted.
This was hard at first because I have a curriculum to follow and expectations for the class and students. BUT. She participated... while the other kids “wrote'' in their own kindergarten way, she drew with markers. I complimented her for sitting for 2, then 5, then 10, then 15 minutes. I noticed how she drew her family, and eventually labeled them with beginning sounds.
Eventually, she swapped her markers for pencils and moved her “private office” back to her table to be with her peers. VICTORY! Bonus? This whole project strengthened our relationship because we weren’t battling each day at writing time. Rewrite the narrative and go backwards if you need to.
WHEW! Executive functioning is such a BIG topic. Consider this your big “introduction” to something I plan on talking about so much more in the future.
I have created a packet of sample checklists in Canva. I would love to share those with you to get you started! Simply use the one that makes the most sense for you and adjust it as necessary.
Canva is SUPER easy (and FUN) to use - if you need any help with it please reach out!
Want these templates for yourself?!
