The Parent’s Playbook: Becoming the Ultimate Learning Coach to Improve Student Achievement
As parents, when our kids are finally old enough to go to school, we sort of feel like we’re passing the educational baton to the teachers.
Those teachers have the structures, degrees, policies, and school curriculum to educate our kids the right way. But our kids don’t live at school, and their educational process—and whatever their unique educational needs—will of course follow them home. We’ll get hit with terms like IEP, phonological awareness, numeracy, and subitize. We’ll feel unsure of what to expect of their development and academic standards. And, unfortunately, we can’t force their teachers to come home with them every day. So who’s left to handle all the in-between?
YOU.
You are your child’s first, best, and most important teacher.
No matter your expertise, you are capable of having an involved role in your child’s education. This is true whether you choose to homeschool or send to public or private school.
If you want to help your child and better support their educational journey, but don’t know how - stick around. I’ve got you. We’re going to cover why and when you should became more involved, as well as tips for becoming an advocate for your child. Finally, I’ll share my top tips for becoming an active learning coach at home right now.
If you want support in setting your child up for success RIGHT NOW, download my free guide here: Create an Optimal Home Learning Environment in 5 Steps!)
Why should I become more involved in my child’s education?
Research shows the positive impact of parent involvement in student success and achievement. Consider some of these stats:
A 2010 study found a strong relationship between a child’s academic performance and their parent’s involvement.
This relationship was stronger than the impact of the child’s intelligence.
The study also noted the importance of strong parent-child interactions. Specifically, the need for stimulating and responsive parenting and conversations.
Other studies proved that parent involvement also impacts a child’s view of their own competence and ability. This means that the more involved the parent, the more self-confidence in the child.
Children of involved parents also have a better relationship with their teachers. The importance of a strong student-teacher relationship is well-documented. This contributes to a positive culture within the classroom and school.
Children with involved parents have increased attendance rates and improved behavior. They also take more risks and think outside the box.
These are all qualities that we want to cultivate in our children - as growing humans and as students. A good teacher will strive for all of these qualities - but the teacher’s role can only take them so far.
According to this fantastic article by NAESP, children spend 86.64% of their time OUTSIDE of school. Consider the importance and opportunity of that.
If you are feeling intimidated by the structure, training, and credentials found within schools, you are not alone.
You do not need the credentials and qualifications of a teacher or counselor to play your role. You have the benefit of using the world and outside environment to do authentic real-world learning.
You are able to incorporate strengths, weaknesses, interests in a natural, play-based way.
Remember: for children, learning is play. Play is the context in which children learn best. Play impacts cognitive, language, physical, social, and emotional development.
Scientists have shown that it takes about 400 repetitions to create a new synapse in the brain.
If this learning occurs during play, it only takes 10 to 20 repetitions.
At home, you have the world at your fingertips to include all the play (and learning) you could imagine. The teacher can make their best effort to make learning fun and engaging, but school-play and home-play are quite different.
When should I become involved?
Let’s put it this way… don’t stop being involved.
You started out as the ultimate facilitator of your child’s life. In infancy, you responded to cues and needs with urgency. You created opportunities to bond and help them learn.
As your child entered toddlerhood, you supported their growth through boundaries and structures. You continued to help them learn about the world around them.
As you send your child off to preschool or kindergarten, many think it’s time to back off. Please don’t! So much cognitive growth happens during early childhood. By supporting preschool learning, you foster neural connections that make learning stronger.
It also helps to bridge learning from the school setting to the home setting. We call this ability to use what you learn in other settings transfer. The goal of learning is to be able to transfer skills and knowledge from school to the real world.
By keeping tabs on your child's early education, you support their confidence as they enter their elementary years and beyond. It also demonstrates that you value your child, their educational journey, and their growth.
By staying and becoming involved in these early years, you enhance your child’s readiness for school expectations.
How can I become a better advocate for my child’s education?
Make sure you feel comfortable discussing concerns and approaching your child’s teacher. Don't feel inhibited out of respect for the teacher and their authority in the classroom.
Your thoughts and concerns are valid, and contribute to a strong home-school connection. You are your child’s first teacher and best advocate.
Your child’s teacher and other school staff will know them in another capacity, which is so valuable. Coming together to form a partnership is where the magic happens.
So, how can you advocate when things don’t feel right? Where can you get help?
My biggest tip here is to talk to the teacher first (in a non-adversarial way). The teacher may not know anything is wrong until you bring it up. Ask for a meeting, discuss your concerns, and ask for their feedback and thoughts.
My other tip is to trust your gut. If something feels “not-right,” go with it. No harm comes from having a discussion and monitoring.
To become the best advocate your child, try the following:
Keep track of information and records. This doesn’t have to be too complicated. Create a school file for your child to keep important documents. Keep up with how your child is doing. Monitor progress. When you go into meetings, have data, facts, and information ready so you can ask the right questions.
Know the rules, legalities, and facts. This is especially important if your child is going through a special education process.
Consult outside help if necessary
Read all documentation sent home (report cards, progress reports, IEPs, letters from the teacher or school, etc)
Ask questions.
Problem solve as a team (don’t blame). It takes a village, remember?
Recognize that advocacy can take time and some hard work on your part. It can also be uncomfortable at times.
Get involved in the classroom and school so you can understand the culture and make your face known.
Keep lines of communication open with your child
Teach your child to advocate for themselves
Remember, “kids do well when they can.” (Ross Greene, author of The Explosive Child). If something isn’t going well for your child, be an advocate. Find out why, and then problem solve.
How can I become a more active and supporting learning coach right now?
Learning starts at home. Hard stop.
Yes, by all means, be an active participant on school committees and go to conferences. But being an active learning mentor means that you support and truly see them in the home environment.
You react to and support their needs as they grow and change. You make home a place to learn - not a place to “complete assignments." Rather, a place welcoming and cultivating of true, curious, learning.
Here are my top tips that you can do right away to start setting your child up for success at home and school:
Create a home learning space (Download my free guide here: Create an Optimal Home Learning Environment in 5 Steps!)
Observe your child’s learning preferences and styles.
Attend school events such as clubs, conferences, parent nights, sports, and committees. You do NOT need to do all of these things. Say yes to 1 thing that actually matters to you.
Be a presence. Know the staff, the teacher, the administrators. Having positive interactions early makes any tough conversations that come up less awkward.
Set up a family calendar system to map out school activities and parent events.
Communicate (with teachers and your child) often and well.
Continually assess and reassess what is working and not working.
Get help when you need it.
Help manage homework and create a check-in system as needed.
Manage screen time, establish healthy sleep routines, and incorporate a balanced diet.
Read to and with your child. Albert Einstein said “If parents want their children to be intelligent, they should read them fairy tales. And if they want their children to be very intelligent, read them more fairy tales.”
Consider supplemental activities such as extracurriculars, tutoring, and online websites for learning.
Outsource what you need to to maintain positive relationships in the home. If you are a homeschool parent, considering semester-long classes for a subject or two. This might be especially helpful if you have more than one child or your child is struggling in a particular subject.
Use day-to-day experiences to have a conversation, enrich your child’s vocabulary, and provide contextual knowledge of the world around them. Take fun day trips (or include them in everyday errands) and explore somewhere new.
Model your own love of learning.
Let them see you reading books, watching documentaries, exploring museums, etc.
Learn together. Find a hobby you can learn and practice together (cooking, music, fixing up cars, sewing). This shows that learning can happen in school and feel very academic, but can also be about something you love or something new for you at any age.
Keep your attitude positive about school and learning fun and positive
Check backpacks and folders - don’t assume your child is going to just remember to hand over notes from the teacher.
Take a couple minutes everyday to talk about whatever they want.
What is too much involvement?
There is such a thing as an over-involved parent. You probably know this. Micromanagement, hand-holding, nagging, and making excuses all constitute over-involvement.
There can be a fine line here and it can be hard to judge when to hold the reins a little tighter, and when to let go.
When your child is going through a transition (middle school, for example, or first long term projects) and provide more support. Create structures and boundaries to guide them, and loosen supports as they get the hang of things.
In this regard, don’t write an email to your (older) child’s teacher about projects, redos, or extra credit. Instead, support them in writing an email or create and practice a script for them to follow as they have a conversation. Then, you can follow-up and check-in as needed.
Perhaps have a conversation with your child about what is their job vs. what is your job. They will come to you each time if you keep doing a certain task for them. If they can do it, teach them to do it. Always remember - if they are resistant to something, they may not have the skill-set yet. Teach them!
Encourage your child to build a relationship with their teacher from the start. This way, they feel more comfortable talking to them about various issues.
Acknowledge when your child is able to handle issues with the teacher (or other kids) on their own. Also define when they should have adult help and how to get it.
Parents, your job is so hard.
As an educator AND a mom, I know this to be true, and also that I wouldn’t change it for anything. It could be easy for me to say, “you love them unconditionally, and therefore you are doing enough.”
But that’s not necessarily where I stand.
You are your child’s ultimate role model for life-long learning, self-advocacy, and self-esteem. To say that teaching is the teacher’s job is not enough. You should not underestimate your role.
You are capable, without any degrees in education, to be an active, positive, learning coach, and advocate for your child’s education in the early years and beyond.
Ready to get started RIGHT NOW?
Download my free guide here! Create an Optimal Home Learning Environment in 5 Steps!
This guide will help you set your child up for success right now and create an environment that primes your child for their best learning.
