​​6 Powerful Strategies for Building Intrinsic Motivation

As we approach the end of the school year, we might notice that our children’s motivation starts to wane.

When it’s gorgeous outside, I feel the exact same way!

So how can we motivate our children, not just in May or June, but all the time? How can we allow our children to feel motivated internally, without nagging or bribing? That’s exhausting.

I think this is key: children are curious and eager to learn by nature.

Two studies (both published by the same research team in 2021) focusing on student motivation had some interesting findings.

First, competence helps students feel motivated to learn. This does NOT mean that students feel that they already know how to do something. Rather, they feel confident in their ability to learn it.

If they put in the effort, they can achieve it (sounds like grit and growth mindset, right?).

Another main point of the study addressed internal vs. external motivation. Internal (“intrinsic”) motivation matters a lot. It is most strongly associated with school success, well-being, and persistence.

External motivation, on the other hand, is based on earning rewards and avoiding punishments. According to the studies, external motivation is associated with lower well-being. It is the least beneficial and yet the most frequently used.

The lead researcher of the study, Julien Bureau of University Laval in Quebec, says that there are three needs that support internal (intrinsic) motivation. These are competency, belonging, and autonomy.

He says:

"If you start doing a task, and it’s a new task, and you feel competent in it, and you feel connected with others, and you feel autonomous in doing the task... You’ll have fun doing it. You’ll want to do it more. And you’ll be interested in learning.”

We can support competency, belonging, and autonomy at home to help children build intrinsic motivation.

We might all need a little dose of that as we approach the tiring last weeks of school, so here are a few tips to get you going!

5 Tips to Intrinsically Motivate your Child at Home

1. Make it enjoyable

• Make an unmotivating task more enjoyable by using music! Play soft instrumental music when completing academic tasks, or upbeat songs while cleaning.

• You can build in choice wherever possible to reflect your child’s interest and need for some control. Think about your child’s interests and incorporate them into learning time.

• You can also encourage your child to decorate and stock up their work area with favorite pictures and  tools. 

• Don’t work past frustration. I know it is SO hard to hit the pause button. It feels like we are giving up, right? But hear me out. When your child starts feeling that frantic buzz of frustration - stop. The more they try to work through that negative space, the more they associate the task with those awful feelings. Try again later, and maybe ease up on some expectations.

Read my post all about scaffolding!

2. Gallery Wall of Work

Create a sense of pride and accomplishment by featuring finished work and tasks in a special spot. We love hanging artwork in the playroom! Take the time to recognize work that was especially novel or difficult for your child. For example, if writing just is a painful time in your house, be sure to find a spot to display writing work.

Hot tip: Please don’t hang only perfect work or report cards. Hang up the messy, incomplete, process-driven pieces, too. I’ve seen a few too many perfectionist kindergarteners.

3. Language Tweaks 

• Praise the process, effort, and progress rather than perfection or a product. This helps to develop a growth mindset and fosters challenge-seeking  behavior. Praise your child for working hard, rather than being “smart” or doing a “great job.” If you consistently praise a child for being “smart,” they will fear that by making a mistake and won’t be called smart. They will take fewer risks in the long run.

• Avoid (like the plague) comparing your child to others (especially siblings!). Growth and progress are incredibly individualized.

• Explain the “why” to your child, or the purpose behind what you are doing. It sometimes helps ease the resistance, if even just a little bit. 

• Have familiar refrains that you repeat often to encourage problem solving. Model and repeat. They may not take to them right away, but over time you may see your child adopt these phrases to help them through challenges. 

• Make expectations clear and succinct by saying when ____, then ____.

4. Let them be the teacher

I love letting kids take on the teacher role. It is so motivating and exciting for them. Let them teach you something, teach their sibling, or even the family pet. 

Reading to a younger sibling or pet (or stuffed animal!) is very fun, too.

5. Start small

Dial back expectations. Give responsibilities, challenges, and tasks that you know they can be successful with, and increase demands over time 

If your child is struggling with double digit addition with regrouping, go back a few steps until they are successful. Keep adding another element until you find the point of confusion.

Work on that, and then add on.

Another point: avoid hovering. Give space and allow your child to make mistakes. Model making mistakes yourself frequently, too. Mistakes HELP our brains.

And there you have it! I do think these tips will serve you and your child better in the long run than any reward chart would!

And by the way, try one at a time. No one is perfect at implementing any or all of these. Motivating myself can be a struggle, never mind my child on a hard day.

Which one are you going to try first?!

Looking to really dig into creating an optimal home environment for learning, check out my guide below!

Download my free guide here! Create an Optimal Home Learning Environment in 5 Steps!

This guide will help you set your child up for success right now and create an environment that primes your child for their best learning.