5 Ways to Ensure Successful Parent-Teacher Conferences

I always thought of 6 weeks into the school year as being a great benchmark. Routines are in place, expectations are clear, and friendships are being formed. While there is still a lot of adjustment going on, it is actually the perfect time for parent-teacher conferences.

Conferences are an opportunity for parents and teachers to check in, articulate goals, and address any concerns. You and your child’s teacher can form the very best team and partnership for your child. You are the expert on your child - what they love, their habits, interests, strengths and weaknesses. The teacher is the expert on instruction, academic needs, classroom behavior, and school success.

Usually, these conferences are brief. There are lots of families in each class and everyone’s time is as valuable as the next. Keeping this in mind, it’s best to go into a conference well prepared so you don’t leave thinking of all the questions you forgot to ask!

Here are 5 ways to ensure you leave feeling satisfied with your conversation and confident in the direction the year is going.

1. Talk to your child!

We all know how these conversations can go. You ask your child, “how was school?” and they say, “great.” Or, you ask, “what did you do today?,” to which they respond, “nothing.” Which you know is false. This is normal and a topic for another post, but try to ask your child more specific questions.

• How do you feel about school this year?

• What do you like about your teacher?

• What is the hardest thing or your least favorite thing about school?

• Is there anything you want me to talk about with your teacher?

Also, listen to your child. I know we want all the details and answers right when they get home, but that’s not always when they are ready to talk. They might need a minute (or a lot of minutes) to decompress, have a snack, play, and process their day. Watch them play, listen to their conversations, and be ready for them to drop small pieces of information about their day. This is them inviting you in to talk more!

2. Prepare questions ahead of time.

Try to prioritize your top 3 questions so you can ask those first. Then make a follow up appointment if you need to discuss anything else after the time is up. Here are some ideas:

• Where are my child’s strengths? Where does my child need more support?

• Does my child participate?

• Does my child hand in assignments and homework on time?

• Is my child happy and forming friendships?

• What is my child expected to learn this year?

• Have you noticed any unusual behaviors?

• Is my child working to their potential?

• How can I support my child at home?

• Can you help me understand _______ better? (special terminology, subjects, math strategies, school policies, etc).

• Ask about any special services your child receives (special education, speech therapy, occupational therapy, English language). Visit the classroom for these classes, as well as other classes such as music, art, and gym.

3. Do your part

• Be on time and end on time. There are lots of families waiting and this is a very, very long day for teachers.

• Complete any paperwork ahead of time. Many teachers send home questionnaires for parents to fill out ahead of conferences. It is most helpful for these to be returned BEFORE the conference, not in the conference. The purpose of these is to have you think about your questions and concerns, but also allow the teacher to have a heads up and prepare.

• Look over recent homework or assignments. Noticing any patterns or difficulties that you want to bring up?

• When possible, arrange for childcare. It is very difficult to have a productive conversation with a crying baby that wants a bottle or needs a diaper change. While sometimes the kids are happy to go play in another area of the classroom, this is not always the case. If a teacher needs to raise difficult issues, then it becomes a little bit awkward. It is so beneficial to have the card ride home to process any information you heard and things you want to address with your child. It also helps to have time to discuss the evening with your partner, and make a game plan. Take the card ride, the night, or the weekend, to think it all over! (The exception to this recommendation is if your school holds “student-led conferences.” These can be valuable for the student and can be discussed in another post!)

• Stay calm, confident, and relaxed. If you have a differing opinion, please bring it to the teacher’s attention but do so in a respectful way. Try not to get defensive or argumentative. Be confident in the fact that you are this child’s parent and know them inside and out, and you should advocate for them. Also remember that a teacher gets to see another perspective of your child and has information that might be new to you.

• Create an action plan using the strategies and suggestions given by the teacher. Make a plan to follow up with your child’s teacher, and be sure to follow through at home. Jot down questions about the plan as they come up. It takes consistency to build any new routine, so make sure you are checking in with your child daily about anything new they should be doing.

4. Inform your child’s teacher of any pertinent or “need-to-know” information.

Take a moment to mention new siblings, illnesses/deaths in the family, divorce or separation, moving, job changes, or other potential stressors. Stress and changes at home can impact your child’s behavior and ability to learn. It’s always better to give your child’s teacher a heads up to the degree you feel comfortable with.

It’s a great idea to mention things your child LOVES at home, or that work particularly well for them. For example, if your child is obsessed with Elephant and Piggie books or loves Bluey, tell the teacher! Your child will feel like a rockstar when your teacher can refer to that during a school day. If your child responds well to a walk when stressed or anxious, that’s something to share as well. Make sure you get input from your partner and any other caregivers. While the teacher cannot accommodate these needs and preferences all the time, the more they know, the better!

5. Follow through.

Talk with your child about the conference at an appropriate time when you are both ready to have a conversation. Discuss the highlights and find lots to praise! Be specific about any issues and create a plan moving forward to address those. If your teacher gave you any action steps, make sure you implement them. Ask questions to troubleshoot, and follow up in a couple of weeks to discuss how things are going. A quick email or phone call is fine depending on your teacher’s preferred mode of communication.

Don’t forget to thank your child's teacher, and remain involved and communicative.

Remember that you and your child’s teacher are on the SAME team with the many of the same goals for your child. If you go into a conference with this perspective, you are bound to leave feeling good!